A Fall Protection Fairy Tale

Today is tell a fairy tale day. You guessed it! I whipped up my very own fairy tale for you to recite on the job site for your crew. Trust me they'll like it. And now for the world premiere of... A Fall Protection Fairy Tale.

In the tiny village of Protectionless, Ernie woke up early to get ready for work.  Ernie worked for IB Roofing Co. where he spent his days spackling gingerbread roofs with sweet cream frosting and M&M shingles.

One day Ernie was working on an old lady's roof with his overweight friend, Fred. Fred was very clumsy and everyone called "Humpty." On this particular day, Humpty had a banana for lunch, and instead of putting the peel back into his lunch box he tried to throw it off the roof. Unfortunately, Humpty had small arms and the peel was unable to clear the roof. Humpty got up to dispose of the banana peel, but when he went to kick it off of the roof he slipped on some buttercream.

Humpty plummeted to the ground and coincidently broke his crown. It was a plastic crown Humpty got from Burger King earlier in the week. More importantly, though, Humpty fractured his skull and was bleeding internally.

Ernie immediately called the Royal Paramedics, but they were busy trying to re-assemble a Faberge Egg that had fallen off of the King's desk. When they finally arrived, the King's men couldn't put Fred back together again (None of them actually had medical experience). Humpty died.

The next day Ernie logged onto the interwebs and discovered an awesome website () There he bought harnesses, anchors, and retractables for the job site. Ever since Ernie bought fall protection, not a single soul has fallen off a roof in Protectionless.

Ernie lived happily ever after into his eighties with his life partner Burt.

Humpty is still dead.